4/17/11

After much time spent doing anything but taking care of me, remembering who I am, the past few days....spent alone...have been quality time. Precious moments to regain...remember...who I am, or rather, who I used to be.n. The past 8 years are filled with few regrets, much love and my personal life on the back burner. While my girls and students have been the priority of my life, mostly my heart; the things that used to define my life have faded into the quiet and invisible background. Recently I ran into an old friend who evoked memories of a past life, filled with music, love and courage. There was a day when I was bold, fearless, and determined. Now that is reserved solely for the kids in my life, justifying in my mind that they need it more than I do. While I love these kids unconditionally, wholly and unwaveringly and holding nothing back; in the back of my mind, I hope intently that one day sometime will love me in return in the same manner. Perhaps a foolish hope given the last few years of heartbreak and disappointment. In the meantime, writing and music which provided me with release and wholeness before I started giving my heart away have re-entered my soul like a fresh cool wind on a hot summer's day.